Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Company and Passion

"Get out of my class" he yelled at the boy.
The boy sniggerred at him and slowly worked his way from his bench and moved out with a defiant look on his face.
Balbir was at a loss! he had seen children of many types, but, Kunal was strange for his age. He did not behave like a regular fifth standard student. He rather behaved like a college student, acting defiant and arrogant in class. No child handling tactic he learnt worked with the boy.

The other day, he had pinched Sunil, another boy, so hard that he developed a clot under the skin and it had taken first aid to pacify the poor kid. At that time, Kunal had been standing right next to them watching them apply first aid without even a sign of remorse on him. After Sunil was pacified, when Balbir turned his attention to Kunal, he had simply shook his head to correct the hair falling on his brows and had looked up at him defiantly as though nothing had happened.
When Balbir asked the boy, Kunal showed no hesitation in admitting what he did and again shocked Balbir with no sign of remorse.
The behaviour first shocked Balbir, he had not yet seen a child so cold and brutal. He first took to punishing the child with a ruler and gave him a mild thrashing on his thighs.
Kunal, while he jumped in pain, he soon recovered after the thrashing and brought back the cold look on his face and went back to his seat. He lost no time in re-establishing his grip on his class mates.
His classmates were terrified of him. Being children, they resorted to continuous complaint of one kind or the other.
Things got out of hand one morning when he was having his lunch, a fellow staffer Ranvir came running to him, Balbir, its Kunal , he has pushed a child down the stairs.
Balbir almost choked. He closed his lunch box and ran to the scene.. It was a girl this time, Shivali was a Sixth standard student , she was being tended to by some of her friends while Kunal stood at the top of the stairs watching the scene.
Balbir was enraged, he went straight to Kunal and asked him "Did you do it?" and Kunal lost no time replying
"Yes, I did it sir" he said.
Balbir slapped hard on his face and almost immediately regretted it. He had never slapped a child on the face. He ensured he always used the ruler mildly as the strictest form of punishment on the thighs. Balbir was himself childless and could not bring himself to be any stricter with the children.
Kunal took the slap as though it was a routine affair and looked back with the same steely look on his face.
Balbir felt disgusted. "What kind of a boy was he to be this cold. " he wondered. He then decided that it was time to have a word with his parents.
Thankfully, Shivali was just bruised and the incident was closed without further ado.

He went straight to the office and tracked down his address. Kunal's folks lived in the LLR extension, short for Lala Lajpat Rai nagar extension a kilometer away from the school.

He then discovered that his father was a factory worker at Dunlop India and his mother was an accountant. "Interesting", he thought to himself.
The pushing incident had reached the principal's ears and he was called upon after the school to clarify.
"Sir, give me one opportunity, let me speak to his parents and find out why he is behaving this way" he told the principal
"I do not want such rogues in this school. Give him his TC right away and send him out." the principal hollered his voice echoing down the lobby of the now empty school.

"Sir, just give me one opportunity sir, he pleaded" he really wondered why he was pleading for Kunal, is it because his heart could not admit to any harsh treatment to a child?
He did not have an answer, but he soon found himself pedaling his cycle hard towards Kunal's house.
The principal had given him one month's time to set things right. He hoped that it would work out alright.
He had to cross a small rivulet to reach Kunal's house, he lifted the cycle on his shoulders and crossed the rivulet.
Soon, he reached the extension. There were not many houses in the street where Kunal lived. He soon found the house bordering a cane field. He got off the cycle a short distance before the house and started walking.
Houses in the extension were village types, adjoined wall to wall with old fashion wooden doors with a big brass ringlet for a door bell. Most houses had morphed into a quasi modern setup with multi storied extensions with satellite TVs and motor cycles.
As he approached Kunal's house, he could make out the stark difference between the other houses and that of Kunal's. Their house bore a weathered and old world look with none of the modernities of their neighbours. He even noticed many broken and missing tiles on the roof of the house . There were suspended pots hanging on the front with no plant in them. He wondered when they last played host to a plant. Their house also had a huge porch with a cement platform for sitting.
As he reached the house, he noticed a boy sitting with bent knees and head hidden between his legs. As he put his cycle on the stand, the boy raised his head and looked at him in shock!
It was Kunal, his jaw was swollen and some blood stains were visible on his lips. He had been crying and his eyes were all blood shot and he was still in the school uniform and his shirt was all stained with sweat and mud.
Balbir was not prepared for this sight. He stood frozen and they kept staring at each other. Kunal was the first to recover.
At that exact moment he heard loud voices and sounds of things crashing in the house.
He turned and looked at Kunal. He came running to Balbir and said
"Sir, don't stay here, lets go". He said that with a shaky but firm voice
For some strange reason he found himself obliging. Soon, they found themselves seated by the rivulet.
Kunal was staring blankly at the flowing water and Balbir had lost all sense of purpose for the visit. He turned and put his arms on his shoulders called out to him softly
"Kunal.."
Kunal slowly turned his head and looked at Balbir, his eyes were brimming with tears and he immediately crashed on Balbirs shoulders crying. Balbir held on to him while Kunal let go. He cried as though he was letting go of a huge burden on his chest. Balbir let him cry. It was some time before the tears dried and Balbir gave Kunal the bottle of water from his lunch kit.
Kunal drank it up and said 'thanks sir' with a moist eyes. He then asked with a shaky voice and still unable to control the tears . "Is it too much to expect your parents to be normal sir?"
Balbir felt disarmed once again, he was not prepared to deal with the child in Kunal.

"No Kunal, not at all.." he said.. In the next twenty minutes he learned that his parents fought daily and Kunal often got thrashed by his father and had many a times been hospitalized with injuries. His mother was equally rebellious and spared no time in getting into a fight with his father. He was teased by some children in school about this and he had turned to violence unable to put up with his shame. In all this he had never once complained about others teasing him.

Balbir felt sad for the child, here was a set of parents who had a child and yet could not give him a proper life and here he was a child less man with all the love for a child but still had none to give it to.
He just hugged Kunal . He realized then that all Kunal needed was compassion and love. He decided to give him that. He sighed in relief that there was indeed light at the end of the tunnel.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A rehearsal to remember

She stood there under the glare of flood lights that almost blinded her. It was a large stage and an even larger auditorium. Lovely red capes donned its side walls hiding the back stage from the audience.
A huge set of 'Ashoka vana' donned the background. The artists had done an amazing job with the colors. A huge tree hogged the center surrounded by plants and shrubs with flowers of all hues. Sunlight streamed from the top lighting up the entire Ashoka vana as far as eye can see. Further behind beautiful trees and grass meadows lit up the entire landscape with lush green richness.
She stood poised for the music to start. It was perhaps the worst decision of her life to participate in the competition she thought.
Two months before, she had seen a note in the bulletin board announcing the inter college drama contest for students. Initially she had given it a passing glance and moved on. She was not the type that liked contests.
"What skill do I have that I go on a stage and put myself in front of others.." she would ask of herself.
Rubina, her friend was excited, "Hey Sons, lets join the competition, it would be fun" she told her..
Sonalika had told her then " hey, no, you go ahead, you are anyway an excellent artist. " and moved off from the place.
That night, for some reason, a small voice inside her said, why not give it a shot, its going to be only in front of strangers.
A real shock awaited her the next morning when she bumped into her junior ,Salima.
"Good luck " she told her to Sonalika's bemused reaction.

Salima paused at her looks and said.. ".. the drama competition, I just saw that you have given your name. so, good luck.. " she added with a smile and moved on.

"What.. " she said loudly and ran to the notice board and there it was her name "Sonalika Raghav-II B.E.," listed against other participants..
"Shit!" she said loudly enough and soon heard a voice behind her
"mmmmm... careful there lady.." it was Shivani madam. The civil department lecturer.

"Sorry ma'am" she said hurriedly. That night she fought with Rubina.. The next day she made up with her and agreed that she would give it a shot.

Over the next two months she practiced on her script. She would do "Sita Contemplates her choices.. "
The contest was to be held at her college auditorium and it would be housing a thousand guests! Every time she thought of that, her stomach churned and she felt her heart race.
"I'm not going to do this. " she kept telling Rubina,
"hey, stop it, you have nothing to lose," she replied. But it was no consolation.

Then she admitted.. "I'm afraid Ruby. I cannot go on stage . What will all those people think of me. " she cribbed
"Idiot, its only 10 minutes and its not like its going to be a lifetime on stage..so, just do it for fun and move on.. " she said

In the final days running up to the event, Sonalika never left her room. Then one day, Rubina said, hey they have postponed the contest by a day!
"What.. " she had asked in disbelief. A part of her was relieved that an impeding disaster would be delayed by a day.
"yep, instead they have let us rehearse on the actual date, that's the 15th and the 16th would instead be the new performance date.." she said

"Oh.. " Sonalika replied again crawling back into her shell...

when the 15th came, she readied herself for the dress rehearsal, full costume, make up and all. She was to perform Ma sita, her broody looks from stage gave her natural forlorn look on her face.
"hey, we are not on stage yet.." Rubina teased her.
Rubina had dragged her into the backstage and she was lost in thoughts till Rubina came up to her and said. They have announced your name. Next is your rehearsal.

She stood there waiting for the voice of Ravana to complete... the lights were dazzling and almost blinded her. She tried hard to not squint her eyes in the glare.

" H a ha ha ha.. here is your Rama's head. I have killed him and his wretched brother.. you have no choice now but to marry me... ha ha ha ha.. " yelled Ravana's voice. The voice reverberated in the auditorium sounding surreal!

" No... " she screamed in shock and her eyes tore open and her lips quivered as she clasped her head as though it would split apart otherwise...

"How can my beloved be dead. How can the great prince of Ayodhya be killed so easily.." she bemoaned..

For the next few minutes she cried and shivered inconsolably and tears flowed down her eyes! What will I tell 'Ma Kousalya.. if she asks me for her son.." she lamented

"What will I tell the people of Ayodhya.. "
"Bharata would be heart broken.. "

She then turned her ire on Ravana..
"you call yourself a mighty king and yet to chose to deceive my lord instead of fighting him in a battle. you coward" she spat at Ravana..

Grief stricken she collapsed to the ground clasping maya Rama's head and hugging it to her bosom, "Oh lord, what will I do without you.. I waited so long hoping you'd rescue me.." she cried..

".. what purpose do I have left for me in this earth anymore" she declared tears running down her eyes, her voice quivering..

" mother nature.. take my life away " she pleaded skywards,

At that precise moment a ring falls down from the tree and she falls silent and watches stunned in silence at the ring.

She bends down and picks up the ring and tears flow down her eyes..

"Maaa..." calls out a soft voice of Hanuman as she looks up skywards... and freezes

Announcer declares.. " lord gives you hope even in your darkest of moments, look for that tiny sign.." says the announcer...

Her act had come to an end.. She quickly recomposes herself and starts to walk back...

"shh.... " it was Padmini madam who was vigorously signaling her. That's when she heard it..

The auditorium was reverberating with applause..

She looked into the darkness confused.. and back at Padmini madam.. "How many are attending a rehearsal" she thought and squinted her eyes to look beyond the glare of the lights..
To her shock the auditorium was brimming with people. They were clapping vigorously! a bunch of guys in a corner were whistling with their fingers in their mouth!
As the realization dawned on her, she felt a mix of rage at Rubina for lying to her , a confused sense of accomplishment and a big jar of confidence filling in her.
She slowly turned around and took a bow. It did not matter to her anymore if she won or not. She ran in and hugged Rubina.

Monday, December 14, 2009

A Journey to cherish

He was in the seventh heaven. Why not? After much persuasion their parents had consented to his marriage to his childhood sweet heart and he was going home to be married.
The flight attendant was going through her motions explaining the safety drill. No one paid any attention.
"Is this the first time for you beta.." , said a voice that startled him.
He turned around to face an old lady seated next to him. She was an old woman , she was about seventy or seventy five years old. She had all white hair, her skin was all wrinkled on her hands and face and was wearning a brown cashmere shawl over her Salwar Kameez. She was moving her mouth chewing something and was looking at him curiously.
"No... No .." he said laughing out loud ... "Why do you ask.." he queried,

" you seem to excited and happy.. I thought perhaps this is your first flight .. " the old lady told with a characteristic judgment of an old Indian lady.

" no madam, I'm traveling all the way from the US., this is the final leg of my journey, I'm happy to be going home." he said with a big smile..
On a normal day he would have been annoyed at even the slightest hint of someone invading his privacy, but today , he was happy, he was going to meet Suja after two years and his parents too!

"Oh dear, the old lady said.. you must be tired, how long was your layover at Changi." she asked..

"oh! it was not much , four hours.. " he replied jovially

" good for you, my son Nikhil, had to wait for fourteen hours at Narita when went to L.A., he swore never to fly that route again.." she said..
"mmm.. mm.." he acknowledged her. He hated layovers and it killed the joy of flying

"he works in Oracle you see.. he is some vice president there..only next to the president.. " she added with a proud smile.

"Yeah... " he responded with an amused chuckle.. It never ceased to amuse him how Indian mothers never let go of an opportunity to chronicle their wards' achievements even to the strangest of strangers..

" what do you do beta..?" she asked , pulling out a small ziplock bag from her hand bag.,

" I'm a professor " he replied...
" haan. haan.. even my uncle Swaran has a daughter Surajja who is married to a professor.. " she interrupted him..

"where do you work.. " she followed up with another one..

" CALTECH.. " he replied to which the old lady did not show any response.

" California techni... " he hastily added..

"harrey.. my Surajja's husband Dharmesh is also at Caltech.. " do you know him.. she asked , beaming at him as though she just met an old friend..

he searched his mind for his known circle of people in the university..

"Which department does he work.. " he asked

The old lady was not pleased..
"arrey.. he takes care of the entire University administration you know.." she added..

"I'm sorry" he said still unable to connect..
" he is responsible for the upkeep of the entire telephone network in the university.." she added with an amused look on her face as though suggesting how can he be in the university and still not know Dharmesh?"

"oh.. "he said.. realizing that Dharmesh must be an administrative staff in telecom facilities team. He barely knew all the academic staff there to know the others.Nevertheless, decided to make the lady feel better.

"Oh yeah.. now I recollect.. " he said..

"good.. see, if you need anything to be done in the University, Dharmesh can do it for you, I will put in a good word to him.. now what did you say your name was.. " she asked..

" no no.. no thanks. " he declined politely with a few chuckles
".. and my name is Sarvesh. Sarvesh Sircar."

"Oh sircar, you must be from the West Godavari district.. aren't you..?" she asked.

he was flummoxed, how did she know? He knew that old Indian ladies were a bag of tricks and this was new one for him!
"but why are you traveling to Chennai and not Hyderabad.. " she asked.

" oh that's a long story.. " he replied with a big smile, the question had brought back his memories of why he was traveling to Chennai..

'oh. that would be interesting.. tell me ." she insisted..

He smiled at her...
"I'm getting married in Chennai..."
"arreeeeey.. congratulations.. the girl must be blessed to have a suitor like you.. " she added

"From what is she making that judgment ? " he wondered. She had known for hardly more than thirty minutes and she was already talking as though she herself had brought him up. He did not mind much. Old ladies are always like that he thought..
"We know each other from our childhood days ma' ji.. we were neighbours.." he said.. He had himself graduated calling her a madam to ma'ji.
"wah wah. how sweet... congrats again beta.." she said gushing and affectionately patting his arm...

"When is the big day? ..." she asked..
" the coming 26th, right after christmas..." he added. " it was very tough finding a free date in St.Thomas Basilica.. Suja's parents somehow used some influence with the American council and got the 26th booked " he added with pride..

" but.. you are.. " she said with a quizzical look on her face..
" Yes ma'ji she is a Christian.. " he added with a knowing smile to an all too familiar question..

"Oh.. bless you beta.. things are looking up in India.. St.Thomas's basilica is a beautiful church you know.. I have been there when I was five. My uncle Harsh took me there.He even got me a nice steam roasted corn.. one of the best I've had.. in my life.. ' she added drifting into thoughts of lost time..
"Ah. before I could forget.." she snapped back suddenly into reality..

"yes ma'ji.." he added
she fiddled into her purse and brought out a crumpled piece of paper and thrust it into his hand..

"What is this ma'ji " he added a bit startled..
"its a small token of gift from an old lady..." she said with a smile and a twinkle in her eye.

"oh. no no no no. " he said opening what appeared to be a crumpled 50 singapore dollars note..\
"what no. keep it in.. back in my days.. we used to accept gifts from elders silently and cherish them..my mamaji will wont let me go unless I touch his feet. you know. " she admonished him..

He was caught in a double predicament now.. he has to accept this 'gift' and also has to touch her feet.. he looked gingerly at her..
"keep it in beta.. its a blessing. You know blessings are only to bring you and my darling daughter in law, luck! ' she added affectionately ruffling his hair!
To his own surprise her mention of Suja as her daughter in law did not seem to surprise him! He had come to believe by now that this old lady can surprise him no more..

He silently pocketed the money and fell silent to avoid any further overtures.

"Beta, do me a favour. " she said not missing a beat.
He turned to look at her .
" there is a yellow bag the size of a rice bag in the over head bin.. can you get it pls.. " she asked
He looked at her.. She still looked at him as though she brought him up and would not hesitate to chastise him if he delayed things further..
He checked if the 'seat belts ' sign was on. It wasn't. He got up and opened the over head bin. The yellow bag was thrusted between a bunch of VIP suitcase of vintage. He retrieved it and sat down.
"Thank you beta. "she said as she almost yanked the bag from him.

She was messing with the bag and she pulled out a brown wrapper the size of a shoe box.
"here she said giving the parcel to him. "
he held onto the parcel while she adjusted the things in the yellow bag again..

" keep it with you. my nephew shailendar will drop in and collect it.. " she said as though referring to a person known to him..
'but what's this.. " he asked.

"Nothing beta. a bunch of CDs my daughter laila sent. she wants to give it to her sister in Sowcarpet. She has made a CD of all videos she took of her son Remo . Her sister Shaila has been asking for thiis for quite some time.. " she completed..

"but why aren't you taking it.." he asked.. annoyed now that he had extra baggage.
"oh thats a long story.. " she paused. " shaila's husband Kishore is a rascal.. he and I don't get along well. so I dont go to their place. Anyway, I have a train to catch to madurai as soon as we land. Be a sweet heart and keep it with you and I will ask the rogue shailendar to come and collect it.. just give me your mobile number " she said pulling out a scruffy looking notepad and pencil from the yellow bag.

He turned over the package and looked at it.. It felt like it was indeed full of CDs. He contemplated what to do. He could not escape the old lady. So, he fell silent,..
"Haan.. tell me .. " she interrupted his thoughts
he looked at her.. and realized that she was waiting for his mobile number

" 9941122334" he said.
"very nice.... fancy number.. " she said beaming at him

"Acha.. keep the things on the bin again.. good boy' she said closing the subject...
He quietly kept her yellow bag and the parcel on the over head bin , stuffing the brown paper parcel into my backpack.
He sat down and she continued immediately..
" achha tell me. what is her name.. " she continued...
"Suja .. Sujana Chakravarthy.. " he said..
"Sujana.. nice name" she said repeating the name quietly after him

"show me her picture. "she said authoritatively.. and he obliged..
"What a pretty face.. " reminds me of myself when I was twelve.. she said looking at him affectionately..
" you know I was married when I was thirteen.. my husband was then twenty. I had sex when I was thirteen! " she smirked mischievously.
he laughed with her..
over the next few hours. she learnt everything about him and suja more than he had shared even with his parents..
She kept talking through landing and disembarkation.
As they waited to clear customs, a customs officer on duty noted the old lady's presence and came over to her and said
"This way lady.. " she pulled her out of the queue and escorted her to the VIP queue.
" very nice of you officer.." she said as she started enquiring his bio data as she went with him..

He suddenly felt as though it was all too quiet in the queue. It was soon his turn in the queue and he cleared customs.
When he joined the big crowd at the baggage retrieval the lady was nowhere to be seen.
She must have been escorted out .. he thought..
His bags came and he slowly moved towards the exit sign marked 'Green channel'
As he neared the exit, a custom officer inspected his challan and looked at his trolley and then at his face over his half moon glasses..'
"Whats in the bag.. " he asked
"my clothes , some gifts for relatives.. " he said.

"Anything else.."the officer asked
"nothing else much of significance.. ' he said with a shrug..

"mm.. I see.. " he said
" come over this side sir.. ' he continued.. with a hand on my trolley pushing it towards an inspection bench..
He followed .. "these guys will now ask for some green backs and let me go.. " he told himself....
.." m. your bags on the desk.. " the officer said.. he was soon joined by a bunch of officers.. one of them asked the other..
" is this him?' .to which the other replied.. "yes.."
"Follow me.. Mr...... Sarvesh.. " he said referring to his passport and customs challan..
he followed the officer into a closed room..
"please sit.." the officer said and he obliged.

"Where are you from.. " the officer asked..
" Hyderabad, " he said.. getting worried that this was going in a different direction..
"what are you doing in Chennai? " the officer asked.
Once again he briefed the officers of his purpose..
They listened intently ..
"What are your contact details in Chennai.. " one of the officers who was behind him asked..
"its in my laptop bag.. can i get it for you.. " he asked..
'mm.." said one officer . he got up quietly and went out the room looking for his backpack.. all his suitcases were lying open on the desks and dogs were smelling them and some guards were inspecting the baggage.
he retrieved the paper from his backpack and gave it to the officer who escorted him out.
"thanks.. " he mumbled and escorted him back into the room..

Once back in the room , questions followed..
"who else is traveling with you.. ?" one asked
' no one, " I'm traveling alone. he replied..

" anyone you know traveling in the same flight..?"
"Same question isn't it.. " he said..

"don't act smart.. just answer the question.." another officer snapped at him..
"No.. i dont know anybody else on the plane.. " he said..

"are you sure?"
"yes. am sure.."

"Then what were you doing with the old lady on the plane.." the officer asked..
"oh.. she.. is just another passenger.. she was talkative and was striking up a conversation.. " he said..

"i see., " said the officer..
he then produced the brown paper bag the old lady had given him...

"whats this.." the officer asked..
"this is a package the old lady gave me. Said its DVDs of her grandchild's home videos.."

"mm mmm...?" the officer said with a sly smile as though amused..
he looked at him alarmed.. it dawned on him that the whole episode has been about the brown package and not some money laundering scheme as he had initially thought..
All crazy thoughts started passing through his brain. Was it a bomb! had he been had? is he going to spend the rest of his life in jain or will he be hanged?

"Sir, seriously i dont know about the package sir. this old lady gave it to me.. her nephew Shailendar will collect it she said.. " he started babbling..
"ok.. whats her name..?" the officer asked..

That's when it struck him.. She never told him her name...
" I don't know.. " he stuttered...

" so you go around accepting packages from strangers even whose names you don't know..?" asked the officer with a smirk..
He felt stupid now...
"no sir.. she was very nice.. " he said in a lame defence..
"of course she was very nice.. " the officer said..

by this time the officer who collected his contact papers came in and mumbled something in the senior looking officer's ears..

"Alright.. Mr. Sarvesh.. " you are lucky.. you have been cleared by our department. you may go.. but we will keep this brown package.. he said

He got up.. he wanted to flee the airport..
At the door he turned and faced the officers and asked.. "But what is in the paper bag?" he asked..

"DVDs, porn DVDs, pirated movie DVDs.." the officer said with a smile on his face..
he was stunned.. ! "What! " he said loudly...

"mmm.... there is a reason Mr.Sarvesh, why we ask passengers not to accept anything from strangers.." the senior officer said..
He held his down in shame and opened the door..
He went out.. and started packing his bags again .. Just as he was about to leave, the door neighboring the room he had been interviewed opened..
The old lady walked out escorted by customs officers..
Just as she was being escorted out, she turned and looked at him
"Oh.. good luck beta.. may you have a happy wedded life. Pass my wishes to Sujana.." she said..
He watched her stunned, jaw dropped open as she was escorted into the mass of people in the airport.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Deepti and the Casanova

"Phree... Phree!" the whistle screamed from the conductor's mouth as the bus jerked and tugged its overflowing load of human beings into motion.
Deepti adjusted her handbag and the drafter case on her shoulders and shifted her legs to counter the bus' jerks to maintain her balance.
"Hey, give me that drafter" , said Syed who was seated on the men's side. Syed, was her senior in college and was dear to her like a brother she never had. Syed had told her that she reminder him of a sister he lost at a tender age of 12 to a cycling accident.

A bunch of newcomers' faces turned to look at her and Syed as if assessing if they were just friends or a couple. It was always the problem with new, always trying to judge people. Chennai was still backward in that aspect. The crowd would get excited and watch with extra interest if it detected that two of them were a couple. As if they were watching a movie and something sensuous was about to play out before them. Of course they would lose interest in a moment and get back to their lost thoughts and analyze how such a pretty girl could fall for a scruffy looking idiot.

Deepti, passed the drafter to Sangeetha who was standing beside her. It was one of the things to be a regular in a bus. You knew most passengers on first name basis. At least the women did. She never noticed men get pally even if the same bunch traveled the route each day.

Sangeetha passed the drafter to Syed and signaled her look at the foot board of the bus. She realized what it was. It was David and his friends. They were also regulars and were studying in the medical college adjoining hers.
She did not know them at first, but boys being boys made sure everyone in the bus knew their names. She did not know if it was a staged act, but the first day she noticed them, one of David's friends shouted out loud enough to hear. "David, don't forget bus ticket, we must be dutiful citizens".
The guy who was addressed David was not listening. He was looking around the ladies' section to check if the ladies noted the loud address.
Sangeetha was one of them. He had instantly locked his eyes on to her.
He had been a regular in this bus for three weeks now. Sangeetha sometimes thought boys were idiots. Were they thinking that girls would be impressed by their so called dare devilry of standing on the footboard?
Her reverie was disturbed by a strong push she felt. She turned around annoyed to check who was pushing her.
To her surprise it was David. He was looking at her directly into her eyes and was smiling. He had mustered up courage to walk up to her she thought.
She did not say anything. She clutched her bags and turned around. No one seemed to notice but for Sangeetha.
Another few minutes she realized that David was using every movement of the bus as an excuse to get into physical contact with her. She moved away a few inches to increase the distance.

"aahh..' she involuntarily let out a gasp as she felt his hands on her hips. She bit her lips as her heart beat raced. Sangeetha did not seem to have noticed what had happened.

She turned to check whose hand it was and as she doubted David was grinning sheepishly and was letting his hands roam.
She made up her mind and quickly turned around to face him. Everyone in the crowd noticed and there was palpable interest in the air. Even Syed noticed the change and was starting to get up. His face was starting to twist.
She smiled at David and signalled Syed to be quiet. David had withdrawn his hands and was still smiling. She quietly opened her handbag and pulled out her cell phone.
She opened its pouch, lifted it to his face and took a picture of David . David was taken aback.
She said calmly and loudly enough for everyone in the bus to hear.
"David, feeling up and molesting women in the bus is a cheap thing to do and you have just earned yourself a label of a dirty scoundrel"
Syed was seething by then. She looked at Syed and said. "Bhaiyya, let me handle him.."
She then turned to face David again and said,
" I have a picture of you and I will be sending this to all my friends, relatives and I will be posting your picture in the dirt bags list in www.abuseswomen.in with all your details that I know already. I have enough decent friends in your college who would gladly provide further details.

She then turned her face to others in the bus as she fiddled with her phone.
"Please ensure that your family and friends are protected from people like him by looking up this website. Only if we punish these people the way it hurts will they change.."

She then turned back to look at him. His face was ashen by then. She smiled at him and resumed..
"You think you guys can get away with anything and we women will squirm in shame? You have no idea where this is going to land you. I have just sent your picture by blue tooth to all my friends in the bus FYI. Dont ever try again with any woman what you tried with me. Not everyone will be patient."
Syed was beaming now and David's face was drained of all blood and he was shuffling embarrassed.
With that she turned his back to him and continued her journey. She and women in this country still had a long journey ahead she thought!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Love Overloaded

Sandeep looked at his phone. It was his mom on the line. He pressed the answer button.
'Hello..'
'Beta, did you have your lunch..'

'yeah mom'
'did you finish your Dahi..?'

'mm...'
' make sure you eat the apple at 5pm. .'
' ok mom, stop harassing me. I have to work...'

'.........ok beta.. i wont harass you. Just take care of yourself alright.. be home soon..'
I just hung up the phone. Mom has always been like this. She always overdosed on love. Ever since dad died. I was way too young then, she became the all-in-one wonder for the family.
His mom had taken up the job of a teacher in a nearby school and conducted tuitions to make ends meet. Things became easier once he started working. His sister Sanjna was now in College and he took care of her education and most of family expenses. Even now his mom only relxed on the tuitions and kept her teaching job.
The loss of a husband seemed to have made her permanently sad and mellow. She directed all her energies as love on her children to the point it suffocated them.

Later that evening when he reached home, it was his mom who opened the door.
" come in beta, how are you feeling? tired? shall I make some kheer for you? "
" no ma.. "

" Wash up and come beta, i will make your favourite Mooli Parantha with some raitha.." she gathered herself to the cooking mode.

"no ma, i'm not hungry..." I just walked into my room and shut myself out.

Half an hour later when I walked back to the living room after washing up,
" .. children should eat on time beta, don't starve yourself beta, here I have made some kheer for you.. drink it up, you can eat later if you want.." she held out the kheer for me.
" ma, i told you i'm not hungry.. why are you torturing me.. leave me alone for a minute. Can't you.?"

Her face dropped a bit and she continued.
"look beta, you can curse all you want, but drink this and look after yourself. That's all I'm asking for.. "
I lost it this time
"look at me... do i look like I'm starving? do you know that I'm overweight and everyone laughs at me? what do you know? Do i have to tell you this each time? Why cannot you trust me to take care of myself? I'm grown up aren't I?"

The bedroom door opened and Sanjna came out to check on the commotion and she realized what was going on.
" ..Bhaiya, don't shout at ma like that.."
" Oh shut up sanju.. go back to your room."
" no.. I won't , don't you dare shout at ma. like that. Do you realize what she has gone through all......"
" oh stuff it, don't start all that history again. I have seen it all.. All am asking for is some peace and quiet. Is it too much to ask for in this house? "

"Miss..." a student called out from the study.

Sanju was glaring at me as mom left with a sad look on her face.
Sanjna yelled "Get lost sandeep.."and stormed to her bedroom.

I could not stand there anymore. It was suffocating. I just took my novel and shut myself in the room. The next few weeks and things didn't change much. Mom showed no signs of reducing her torments.
Relief came in an unexpected form. I was nominated to travel to the US to support my project when it went live. I was thrilled.
This would be my first trip abroad. That too to the US of frigging A! the dreamland of IT guys like me. Finally, i would be rid of mom's torments.
The final weeks leading to the travel were terrible. I had treble the workload to deal with.
My team mates were all giving me K.T. on all aspects of the project and my manager was brainwashing me on dos and don'ts with the client.
My mom! ufff... she was on overdrive. She was buying frozen paranthas and pickles by crates and she was bent on giving me a crash course on basic cooking.
" I will eat Pizzaas ma..' i tried telling her.
' you are a vegetarian beta, it helps to know a little bit of cooking' she would say.. What does she know about US! Another few days and I would be off. Until then I should just go along with her i thought.
She had brought an extra large suitcase and stuffed all her food items in that wrapped with layers of cling film and tin foil. The only thing she relented was when I objected to her idea of buying me a portable wet grinder. You can make dough and batter in this with no effort she told me.
" Ma.. I'm going to work there. I'm not setting up a hotel there.. ok.." i yelled at her.
thankfully Sanjna supported me on this and mom gave up.
"Ok beta, but make sure you take on in your next trip.. " she said postponing it for now.

" I will buy a box of alphonso mangoes instead she was telling herself.." I was doomed for sure.
What will my friends and colleagues think when they see all this food stuff. I have to get rid of this before people laugh at me. I made my plans.

The night I was to travel, I loaded all the boxes into the taxi and ensured I stuffed the one with all the kitchen items under the stair case before mom could notice.
I literally had to tear myself away from mom to get into the airport. She was all tears and embarrassing to the core.
"Beta.. "she called out as soon as I said byes and was about to enter the terminal. I was a good ten feet away and I turned.
" Beta ensure you use blue on your white banians and undies and don't mix it with your office clothes.. " she screamed.
"Shit..." i thought and checked around. A couple of guys with their ipods in their ears were sniggering at me.
I just turned my face away and moved on.
The flight was long. It was thirty hours before I landed in sky harbor international airport at phoenix. The cab was waiting for me and I was set.
The area seemed much different from images of US i had seen on TV. The land was barren and had few sky scrapers! Cars zipped by on the highway and huge signs of fast food chains of different kinds were smothered all along the highway.
I was busted, I hadn't slept or eaten properly since I left home. At the hotel the guy at the reception was nice. He asked me if I was new to the US and welcomed me with a special smile. He then led me to my room and showed me how to operate things.
"Have a nice day sir. " he said and left.

I checked the time. It was Saturday afternoon 2pm. I sat on the bed and switched on the TV. Shuffled some channels. Could not make sense of most of the stuff they were showing. There was a courtroom drama which appeared to have real people in it. One guy was accusing the other of letting his dog poop on his lawn intentionally and the other was denying it vehemently. In another channel the audience were shouting 'Jerry.. Jerry' as two participants were fist fighting on stage in what appeared to be a talk show of sorts. I tried to understand what was going on and lost interest. Some had some serials on ..
I shut off the TV. I absentmindedly opened the mobile and checked it. No Service. It said. I realized that It wouldn't work here and shut it off.
This room would be my home for the next two months or so. I checked the surroundings outside the window and i stared at the parking lot lined with cars. But for cars on the highway, the whole scene outside the window was desolate. No soul was to be seen around. Strange I thought to myself.
I started unpacking my bags. It took me a good two hours before I finished. It reminded me of Mom. "Sandeep arrange your clothes shelf its untidy", she would say.
I never did it. I knew she would do it for me.
I finally finished unpacking and went for a bath. It was a strange place, the switches all operated upside down. To switch a light on, one had to turn the switch to the OFF position.
Crazy I thought. I finished my bath and lay on my bed.There were no voices of
" Beta, come have food.." or "Bhaiyya, I made aloo subzi today.."
The silence in the room greeted me like an unfamiliar stranger. I opened the fridge and it was empty except for some nuts that read. "Welcome to sunny resorts, Scottsdale"
My dirty clothes were lying below the bed where I had left them. Normally Sanjna would have dumped them to the laundry basket in a jiffy.
The silence around me was strange. I looked around again, hoping that someone would walk in through the door and talk to me.
Nothing of that sort happened. I looked around to check If I can order food and found the menu. The food items were all strange to me. There was no mention of pizzas.
It had some burgers and sandwiches that I could recognize. But I was not sure if they were vegetarian. The lady on the phone was not sure either. First it was difficult to even ask her if the food was vegetarian and she kept asking me to repeat what I meant. Finally I used the term 'no meat' and that seemed to work.
" I'm not sure. sir" was her response.
Finally when the burger came, it threw away the middle portion and tried eating it. It tasted awful. Some sauce dripped from it and it made me almost throw up.
I dropped it on the table and looked for water. There wasn't any! What kind of a hotel does not keep water for its residents. I thought.

I gave up and drank the water from the tap to rinse my mouth off the awful taste. I tried finding the nearest Indian restaurant from the phone directory and they said they did not do deliveries. They were 10 miles away from my hotel, the mallu sounding guy said.
I was tired and hungry. There was no place to go and no one to call. I lied on the bed and looked up at the barren ceiling. It was unusual without the fan spinning on top.
I wished mom was there now. She would have at least made some kheer in five minutes and food would have been ready in fifteen minutes.
There was no Sanju, she'd have applied balm on his throbbing head and massaged it softly. She was an expert in this.She would then cuddle up to him and have a cup of masala chai.
I wanted them both in my life this instant. Now! I screamed silently. Nothing happened. The buzz of the air conditioner was all that responded to my scream.
The feeling of regret at my rudeness to mom, tiredness and hunger all overwhelmed me. I cried and cried and cried louder like I never have before.




Thursday, December 3, 2009

The disgusting beggar

I hated the traffic stop. It took a full three minutes to cross and its always the second green signal one will be able to cross. I removed my helmet. The insides were sweltering hot.

Someone poked me from behind and I turned

"Saar.. help me sir.." - it was the same beggar daily.

"How many times do I have to tell you don't touch me. You idiot. Don't you have any sense?"

"Saar, dont get angry saar, Its my livelihood saar, give me some money saar".. he said showing his yellow teeth broken in several places.
I hated this beggar. His hair was all matted and grass and odd hay struck out from his mat in different places. He was an eyesore in the lovely Taramani road that resembled like an international city highway with beautiful manicured medians and artistic lamp posts and ultra modern bus stops.

"Saaar... " he disturbed my thought chain again

"What?, Do I have to tell you daily? Don't you have any self respect? Why cannot you earn and live? Why do you beg. You dont seem to be disabled are you..?" my blood was boiling.

He continued to grin stupidly..
"its because of you guys our country is getting negative image.."

I realised that he did not understand the concept of country and negative image.. he continued
to smile ...

"Idiot.. get lost, i said.." . there was still another two minutes before the green light came on..

"Boss, pls give me a little space..." another voice said from behind. It was a guy who wanted to go left. I moved my bike a few yards to let him by

"Saar, I have not had food saar.. " he said following me..

I felt my temples throbbing again..
"Why should you get food? You dont seem to work, you have no sense of self respect and you are an eyesore to this place.. why should you even stay alive?" I yelled at him..

Others in the traffic were amusing themselves at my outburst. I could notice most of them were using me as a time pass at the long signal wait, but I could not control my anger.

I parked my bike on the stand and walked up scooping my helmet. The sergeant was standing on his bullet directing the heavy rush hour traffic.

"Sir," i interrupted him..

"What..." he turned giving me an annoyed stare, still directing traffic to keep moving..

"That beggar is bothering me daily sir. He wont stop disturbing how much ever I chase him away.." I paused for his reaction

"So, what do you want me to do?" he asked obviously peeved at my complaint

"Do you want me to give him money? " he continued sarcastically , .. "Move on..." he yelled at a cyclist in between

"No sir, he is an annoyance, why dont you take him to the station?" i suggested

He stopped directing traffic and turned to me.
"What are you thinking mister? haan? I'm a traffic policeman, not a dog catcher, do you get it? .." he shouted at me..

he then picked up his lathi and moved as he mumbled..
" dont know from where these guys come from... in the morning torturing me.. that S.P (*&(@#$ is also not giving me leave..." he was mumbling all sorts of things i could not figure out..

I just followed mutely as he moved to where the beggar was

With all his might, he swung his lathi..

"@#$@#$@ i told you not to beg here didn't i, didn't i? " he yelled at the beggar

"aaha... " the beggar screamed and jumped to avoid the lathi...but the sargeant was experienced and his blows found the mark always

" I will kill you with this lathi if i ever see you here again..." he was yelling.

"Serves him right .. " i thought to myself as the signal turned green.

I started my bike and rode away as i watched the policeman take out all his anger on the beggar.


Another one week passed by and the beggar was nowhere to be seen. Peace at last or so I thought.

Soon october came and it started raining heavily and the Tiruvanmiyur Junction was flooded with a foot of water. I was returning home that evening and it was dark and cloudy.
I had to be careful not to let the water into my silencer and I rode carefully. The signal was green, but I did not want to rush it.
Yard by yard, I progressed carefully maintaining steady throttle, suddenly i lost balance, my bike front wheen dropped below normal in what appeared to be an open manhole.
I struggled to find balance and totally lost it and fell to the left into the water. Soon water engulfed most of my body and I managed to keep my head above the water lying on the road. Before i could gather myself,
Out of nowhere a call taxi sped down bearing on me obviously trying to catch the signal and it appeared that he did not see me on the road hidden by water. The driver was focused on the signal.

I was too shocked from the fall and could not react.
A strong arm suddenly pulled me up from the road onto the pavement and just then the call taxi realized his mistake and swerved to avoid me.
there was a loud noise of metal crashing onto metal and
"Aaah" i screamed and I felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness sweep over me in an instant as my eyes blacked out....

i first felt the pain, my leg was throbbing......

i then felt someone slapping me on my chins trying to wake me up..

the blackness slowly lifted, it was dark even then with sudden flashes of life and sounds of horn.

why am i dreaming of traffic I thought and turned..
I could not turn.. a shooting pain in my leg stung me

I opened my eyes.. a scraggy face stared at me..

I looked around and I was on the pavement and it all came back to me in an instant.

My whole body was aching and my leg was hurting badly.. I looked again and I realized I was staring at the beggar
He had fresh bandages on his fore arms and lower legs.

"Saar don't move, your leg is bleeding he said.." he was tearing off a fresh pack of cotton and bandage..

How did he.. where did he come from.. when.. too many questions where swimming on my mind... the pain was unbearable..

"Saar, that calltaxi is an idiot saar, he would have killed you.. " the beggar said..

"Saar , be careful in rainy days saar, the corporation guys are idiots they opened the manhole and went off.. " he continued..,

I turned and looked for the bike. The handle bar was twisted and some parts appeared broken.. I looked at the place where i had fallen..
A big tree branch from the neartest drumstick tree was inserted in the hole that i ran into..

The beggar continued..
"Saar you are the second person saar to fall in the hole today, a cyclist fell down earlier.. thats why i kept that stick in the hole.." he continued..
"Saar, this may hurt he said.." a searing pain shot through my leg. and i looked down

He was keeping down a bottle of what looked like iodine or spirit and now he was bandaging my legs now.

"Saar have some pepsi saar", he said pointing to my side.. " will give you some strenght.."

I tried to say .. "why you bothered.." but words wouldn't escape my mouth, i was too stunned and tired.

I picked up the pepsi and gulped it down, it was cold and felt refreshing and I felt the caffeine working on my nerves as they all became alert again ..

My dress all wet , torn in places . I should call home i thought and picked up my cell,

It was cracked..

I just looked at the beggar .. he had gathered the remainder medicines and was now putting my bike on its stand.

"Saar take this medicene with you saar, use it till your wound heals " he said as though he was a doctor..,

Just then it hit me, the feeling of remorse and guilt. Here he was, the very same beggar whom I had yelled at and spewed venom at every given opportunity and had even got him beaten up and I could see that the fresh bandages on his hands and legs were those he had gotten himself treated for and yet here he was helping the very same person responsible for his added miseries without an iota of vengeance ..

"saar take rest here. I will come" he said and went off to the traffic light . He had started begging again, at the same place right beside the same sergeant that had beat him up just a week ago.

I felt humbled and ashamed of myself. Somehow the pain in my mind was more than my injuries from the accident.
I yelled at him each time he touched me, but it was his touch that had now healed me. It was his touch that had saved me from graver injuries, maybe even my life.

The light had turned green and he came back and sat down next to me and started collecting the coins..

"Saar, this is some sin from previous birth that is making me beg here...saar, don't mistake me.." he said
On a normal day I would have scoffed at his logic as an excuse for laziness. Today I somehow could not bring myself to look at him as anything but my own white angel.

Why is he still giving me respect after what i meted out to him,i wondered...

I got up to leave and pulled my purse out.. pulled a five hundred rupee note and gave it to him..

" no saar, i cannot accept money for helping someone.. " he said..

I was stunned.. 'no no, its ok, you should take it.." i tell him, my voice is still feeble.. a far cry from the usual shrill note he was used to hearing from me.

"no saaar, i cannot accept this. wouldn't you have done the same thing to me if i had fallen down..? ".. he said looking at me..

" this is the same way saar, you wont accept money for saving someone would you... this is the same way saar" he said without pausing for my reply

I was sure I would not have even paused to see if he had fallen down . I would have perhaps been happy to be rid of him.. it further ashamed me and I looked at the beggar with a new found respect.

" whats your name..." i manage to ask him.

" dont know ssaaar some call me thirugu.. some call me attai..I forgot my real name saaar".. he said showing his yellow teeth again..



Two months have passed since. He is still begging at the same traffic light. He does not prod me for money any more. Somehow it turned out that I was the beggar and he had just almed me a valuable lesson in 'respect for all forms of life'.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Virtue of selfishness

The phone chimed its sing song tone as Mr.Neeladhri in the neighbouring cubicle looked up annoyed.
I smiled at him giving an apologetic look. The phone was already in its lowest setting and its still loud in the quiet office. For that matter all phones are equally loud, but it did not seem to matter for Mr.Neels, he screwed up his face, mumbled something and went back to work.

'Hello, Pankaj here" I said

' hola Pankaj, how about tea' said the voice on the other end. It was Philip.

'Okey, see you in five at the caf' I said and kept the phone down.

I gave a perfunctory smile to Mr.Neels who was still peeved and got up.

' yo Raghu..' i called out stretching my arms and to the sides..

Raghu is a quiet fellow in his late twenties. He is one odd ball. He is a jolly fellow and is always chirpy and keeps teasing women and seems to enjoy their company. He is quite popular with the girls too. But from what I have seen I have rarely seen him go out with anyone. He would not even give them his phone number. He was quiet privy to his cell phone number. Obviously he has a girl friend and did not want to tell anyone for the sake of losing his stardom .

Phil, on the other hand is a run of the mill Indian engineering grad, slugged it out in a nondescript engineering college down south and struggled to find his own job. Well read fellow and quiet but had become a victim for all the vices of life, wine, women and weed! But for all his vices he is an unassuming fellow and thats what makes him so like-able. One could see that he has seen the ravages of life at a young age.

The lift chimed and I soon reached the caf, the cafeteria as we called it. I saw Phil seated at our usual table playing table golf with a spoon, a ball of paper and a cup.
'Hi dude..' i said pulling up the chair..
' so what did she say..' i ask him

'pfft.. ' he said from the side of his mouth continuing to play golf
' why, what happened..' i asked

' can we eat while we talk. I'm starving.' Raghu interrupted
' I have already ordered Samosas..' this was Phil

The timing was perfect, rajaratnam the waiter turned up with the heated samosas in two plates and kept it on our table with a smile and added
' saw the match yesterday?I told you we wont win when Sachin hits a hundred..'

' get lost ' Raghu said irritated that India lost an easy match to Sri lanka even after scoring well

Rajaratnam did not mind. He knew us too well. He went away smiling..

Raghu was already invading the Samosas and I look back at Phil.
' so what did she say..'
' why ? you want to laugh at it?' it was Phil this time who got irritated..

' no dude. at least let me learn from your mistakes ..' i said trying to humour him up.

Phil is obviously deciding between whether to chill down or get annoyed at my insensitive comment..

' she said, from which hole do you guys creep out...? ' and asked me to get back into the same hole.
' oh..' I did not expect her to be so strong in her reaction..

' Good dude.. she seems to think too much of herself. let her be. ' it was Raghu , the expert.

i turn and look at him. .he was busy finishing off the Samosas and did not even look up.

'leave some for us.. ' phil says catching me looking at the plate..

' Share the other plate guys.. mine is soiled..'

I catch Phil's knowing eye and walk off to the display table in the corner to order tea. This is one aspect of Raghu, i never understood. He is a criminally selfish guy when it comes to sharing his food or drinks with anyone. He would unflinchingly take a full plate of samosas and have it for himself. Why he would not even share a single spoon of Bhel puri with anyone.

we all hated this aspect of Raghu, not many knew of this for he did not 'socialize' with anyone else spare for us and this despite his populist image.

Why should some one be so selfish , I could not fathom. We quietly got ourself another plate and shared it between ourselves. To be fair to him he did not dip into our plates as much as he did not let us into his.

We have been bearing this idiotic habit of Raghu for sometime and we learned to put up with it. My reverie was disturbed by a loud voice.

'Hey guys.. look who is here.. ' it was Dholakia from H.R., he was a prick and no less. He had a liking for his own voice and cannot stop talking even if it meant he would be killed.

' So do you guys come here daily?' he asked of us.

Phil had lost himself in the samosas leaving us to deal with Dholak baba.

Rajaratnam arrived at the same time with our tea. Dholakia ordered for some Chaat and turned back to us.

' not really.. whenever we are in a mood' said Raghu biting into his samosa

' oh you guys ordered Samosas.. how is it.. ' he queried trying to do the unthinkable! he dipped his hands into Raghu's plate and tore off piece of Samosa.

What happened next will be etched in my memories forever. In a sweeping movement Raghu lifted his plate away and snatched the piece from Dholakia's hands and in the process he managed to jostle the table so much that the hot tea spilled onto Dholakia's hands.

Dholakia was stunned and so were we. He screamed in pain! Raghu simply looked away and called out
'Raja get sir some cold water and clean this table...'

'Guys lets move to another table..' he said non nonchalantly and got up.

We did not know what to say.. we knew the rules.. but poor Dholakia.. he was way too stunned and was starting to fume.

He got up in with an angry look in his face and his voice was quivering..

'Why did you have to do that you ..' he restrained himself from saying anything further..

Raghu was least perturbed and replied calmly..

'Never touch my food again Dholakia, I do not tolerate that..' we were surprised by his cool and remorseless demeanour. Whats gotten over him? Whats the harm in sharing one silly piece of Samosa...

I was starting to lose it myself..
" Raghu.. whats the harm dude.. We will get you more Samosas if thats what you want, why not share a piece.. what harm did Dholakia do?" the pent up annoyance putting up with this behavior was starting to come out

He looked up calmly assessing me.. and said.. ' No is a no.. you can get your own Samosas and share it, just dont touch my plate.. you guys know me why are you asking me after all these years?'

I felt bad for a fleeting instant.. true we had know this for years even though we tried asking him to share just about everyday. We just chose to ignore this idiocy of his over his good qualities. But again, i could not reason with his question completely.

' No Raghu, but we have never questioned your logic behind this.. care to share it now..' I was feeling more angrier now.

Somehow my taking sides with him, silenced Dholakia into just caressing his almost burnt fist . He was intently watching me fighting his battle.

Phil was slightly fidgety. He did not want to take sides since he was a relative new comer. Myself and Raghu go way back from our fresher days in the company.

' I cant give you logic and reasons. Do you use my bike? you dont, right? Do we share a residence? Don't, right? Do we share a bank account? don't right? do we share our inner wear? Don't right? Why so much? You have your own choice of chair in the office right? Dont you get annoyed when someone else takes away your favourite chair? ....'
He paused for sec

' this is also like that. I have my own plate and cannot share it.. just eat..' he said and mumbled
'Sorry Dholakia.. i did not mean to hurt you.. but this is me.. '..

Dholakia was stunned and I found a switch in me had gone off.. i just fumed off from that place..

Its been six months since.. I have not spoken to Raghu after that day. It appeared to me that he was least disturbed by the loss of a friend. He tried to talk to me a few times and I did not respond and he too stopped attempting after that.

" good.. serves him right... ##$#$" i thought to myself. each time i looked at him having his lunch alone. Phil had chosen to join my cause and stopped talking to Raghu..

I was on my way to office that day when the call came.. it was Phil on the line. He is a disciplinarian and always landed up in the office by 9am sharp. He must be calling to check some issue. He always had one query or the other.

'Hello, Pankaj here.. '..
' Dude, dont come to office. its a holiday..' Phil spoke on the other side..

'Why what happened..' I ask
'No idea.. the security just passed on this news..seems a relative of the owner passed away..'

' What? are we living in Nawab times? why should they declare a holiday for some relative passing away..' i ask him.

'No idea dude.. why crib about an extra holiday..?'

' alright! see you at Inox, lets catch a three in one show today..shall we.? '

' yep see you in half an hour' said Phil and hung up.

Brrr... Brrr.. my Blackberry buzzed announcing the latest email...

By habit i just looked at it.. ' We deeply regret.. ' said the subject line..

I opened the email

'We deeply regret to inform the demise of Mr. Raghuram Rai fondly known as Raghu. He passed away in the early hours of this day after a brief hospitalization. He was a living example of spirited individuals and inspired one many HIV infected to live with their heads held high. Our organization bows in deep respect to this fighter who fought his battle to the last and died valiantly.
Regretfully,
Swamy Rai

My head exploded with a thousand mixed emotions! the answers to the questions, the grief , pride and my anger at my own stupidity all overwhelmed me as I collapsed to my knees on the road...
I let myself scream....

Monday, November 2, 2009

The day I died

The minivan was hurtling down the narrow ghat road at breakneck speed. The weather was looking ominous with darkness all over and claps of thunder striking over the town below the hill. The flashes of lightning looked eerie and the town looked like a ghost town with the power having blacked out at the first sign of rain!
The minivan had started way up in Kodaikanal hills at five in the evening and was proceeding slowly until a ford vehicle with rally markings over it overtook us almost ramming into us. The driver had to slam the brakes to avoid a major accident. This had enraged the minivan driver who wanted to teach the ford driver a lesson!
He had been driving like a raging lunatic to catch up with the speeding car. The dynamics and power of the minivan was no match to that of the low slung sedan. The rain had increased and sheets of waters was pounding the windows of the van.
The van was not slowing down in spite of the falling darkness and bad roads. The driver seemed to have only one objective in mind.
"What is the driver thinking?", I told myself
"Is he trying to kill us all? "
"Why is no one complaining to the driver? are all the passengers so dumb or are they used to these things?"
"Maybe I'm finding it tough to digest being in the last row of the van"
Suddenly the van was filled with the blinding lights of an oncoming vehicle that had switched its headlights on due to the rain.
"Darned idiot, why wont we ever learn not to use high beams! Selfish idiot" i mumbled to myself.
The oncoming vehicle had completely blinded the vision and still the driver was racing. The vehicle crossed and suddenly we realized that we were running breakneck speed into a low hanging branch of a tree by the ghat road side. The driver swung hard to avoid the branch and the vehicle started sliding.
"eeeeeeeeaa..." I screamed involuntarily fearing for life. My stomach had somehow found the way into my mouth!
The other passengers seemed unperturbed and turned and gave me a nasty look as though to ask.. 'what are you five year old?"
I gave an apologetic look though I was confused as to how they can be so stoic amidst all this craziness.
The driver somehow managed to recover from this maneuver and was accelerating again! I was praying that the ghat road finish soon. I tried stealing a look down the ghat to check how much descent was left.
I could make out amidst the flashes of lightning that another twenty minutes of travel must be left.
"baaaaaaaaaaaaaammm", another vehicle passed in hte opposite direction protesting strongly for the rash driving by the van

I was holding on to dear life when it happened.
"Crraack" came a sound as the van landed hard into a deep hole filled with water! then the vehicle lurched and swayed from left to right at dangerous angles"
"aaaaaah..." this time it was the driver..
" ஸ்டீரிங் ஓடிஞ்சிருச்சு போல இருக்கே ! ஐயோ காப்பாத்துங்க "
"The steering is not working! save us" he was screaming in tamil!

The whole bus was screaming now! I joined the party and the van seemed to have decided to steer itself. It was swaying from left to right as it dropped into and climbed every rut in the road! A hairpin bend was fast approaching and the van showed no sign of slowing down..
"ப்ரக்கே போடுயா" " slam the brakes! someone was screaming
By this time it was too late and the van rammed into the fender on the bend and the back wheel lifted on impact lurching over the fender and I could see the clouds and the rains streaming down into my eyes through the back window as the lightning flashed perhaps for the last time!
I hoped desperately for some miracle fully aware none was in store.
"Wham! Whoosh" the van was bounching and rolling over the cliffs
"aaaah" i felt the world darkening around me as a heavy pain landed on my head! and silence followed............................................................................


I woke up in a dazzle of light! lot of white clad figures were looking at me amids the glare! my face was wet from perspiration! Am I in hell or heaven?

"Slaap".. someone slapped me hard on my face and I rubbed my eyes to look clearly
"Sleeping in the class , idiot, I will fail you if I ever catch you sleeping again.. get out of my class" yelled Samuel master, the maths teacher..

I walked out of the class as the truth dawned on me... what a nightmare! I mused as I rested my head on the wall. outside the class before closing my eyes. God please give me a nice dream now...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Alien attack

The plectrasonic siren had gone off! Incoming! someone shouted and I instinctively pressed the drekto buttons on my suit!
The drekto mode got activated and I a sparkling violet light surrounded me. A million other such balls of violet came on all around me!
Who could be attacking us and why? We ourselves were a deprieved race! What is there to steal from us. These aliens have been watching us for several years now! It has been a thousand years I'm told, since we moved underground! An asteroid passed too closed and sucked all the life out of our planet!

We had moved underground to escape its wrath! It had taken years of preparation! Water was scarce. Every day, our underground seas would crystallize in the dark and it would be emptied by the morning to feed the entire population and the cycle continued, life was hand to mouth.
For an advanced race, we had been reduced to nothing by one random act!

My father told me of the glorious days when they lived on surface. They could visit other planets at will! He spoke highly of the one that was closes to us. They were treated with utmost reverence by the living beings on the planets. They treated us as gods for the small favours we accorded them. Our lives were heavily entwined he said ! In fact you were born there he said!
I could not remember any of it! Anwyay none of that mattered, all that remained were memories!

The siren was wailing now! I ducked bracing for the impact! I held on to all the ledges from the nearby wall in the cave with all my four hands !

Then I heard it, it was a soft thud in the sonic region! will there be an explosion? we all waited for the worst to happen!
Only silence followed!
Then we heard it, the voice! The invader was speaking in our frequency! The microwaves!
"Moon Impact probe Landed Successfully." this kept repeating consistently!
Then another voice echoed. This was different. It came from afar.
"Activate Water detection program".. again, this message was repeated until the invader acknowledged
"Activated"

I could not believe it, an invader looking for water in my planet, moon? Are these guys idiots? Could they not see that there is nothing on the top? The darned earthlings have taken to experimenting with us of late. WIsh we had the powers like we used to! We would have taught them a lesson!
The siren had wound down!
Ganesha.. shouted a voice! it was my brother Subramanian..
Coming! I shouted! Gotta run!, Its time for dinner! another day folks.. ciao.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Feeling of Emptiness

A sharp twitch woke me up, I could see the the day had dawned. Light was seeping through the seemingly endless cloud that was stretching all the way. Actually, I have never seen the clouds going away. They just seem to last forever.
Is this the way it is supposed to be? I don't know. I pressed the stop button on my thoughts and got to work, we lived in a world where work goes on for 18 hours and rest is irregular.
I have to get to work as soon as I stir and food and refreshments keep coming along the way when I need them, thankfully. I'm repeatedly taught that not all planets have such friendly workplace.
I often hear nasty stories of torture and suffocation. A friend once told me that he used to live in another planet where he used to get food that was poisoned and most of the workers just started dying slowly. He was moved here when the planet was on the verge of killing itself.
He has thanking his gods ever since he moved here. I thought work was gruelling here and here he was making me uneasy with his scary stories.
Hmm.. getting back to work, it is nothing much to speak of, the factory where i worked had the job of making some chemicals. I dont know where it goes or how it is used.
I have asked, believe me. No one tells me anything here. I get answers like
'Do what you are told and you dont need to know more' said my boss.
'It does not help knowing, believe me' said one good fellow
'What are you going to do by knowing?' asked another.
Its a sin to be inquisitive here. Hmmph.. cant say much.
"Tweet Tweet", I was interrupted by a messenger who delivered the message and vanished even before i could say 'Thanks'.
I opened and read the message.
"Hey! Liver! Get to work or I'm cutting of your power supply... signed brain"
"Aye aye sir.. more bile coming up"